Hecklerspray’s Open Letter To Super Brat, Justin Bieber

Dear Justin, we’ll keep this short as we’re aware that it’s already past your bed time. Also, please find attached to this letter the urine-stained undercrackers ofhecklerspray writer Matthew Laidlow. He said you would know what to do with them.

We had high hopes for you, young Mr Bieber; we really did but what have you done this time? We honestly thought you’d quelled these rebellious tendencies, believed you’d changed. We thought you were ‘over it’ and that maybe, just maybe you’d grown out of your uncontrollable need to smash the system through small acts of youthful insubordination.

Perhaps it was a false hope that we had no right to have…

We thought that all these years of outlandish misdemeanours had taken their toll on your conscience, your psyche and that you were now content to live out your Twilight years in peace and harmony with the world. Maybe take up Buddhism and retire into the mountains to become a monk or something that rich people do when they’re bored of their money.